Grrr...

Since moving to NYC I've been missing my Starbucks barista, Darrell. Seriously, the guy made the most delicious non-fat latte ever. Every morning I would go to the Starbucks on Clark and Hubbard at around 9 AM and Darrell would make the most exquisite latte...perfect ratio of espresso, milk, and foam.
There's a conveniently located B&N by school so I was super excited that I can just get my morning latte there. But woe...I've been sadly disappointed by the quality of their espresso-based beverages and the nearest Starbucks is in the opposite direction from my apartment. Fuck! Recently I've ordered a grande non-fat latte ("the usual") and both times is was severely sub-par. There was too much milk, not enough espresso, and virtually no foam. I asked the barista to add some foam and what I got was the most pathetic excuse for foam. Foam is supposed to be thick and frothy. I got something that resembles badly beaten egg whites. Gross.
I don't want to sound like a prick but seriously...it's not that hard. Can't a girl get a decent drink around here?

Man Candy

As requested....Man Candy. 007 is back 11.14.2008

The Paper Chase

My first post as a law student. It's been quite a few weeks since starting law school. So far my life consists of studying, going to class, and drinking. Somewhat in that order. Oh yeah, and complaining about my life just about every chance I get.
If you're thinking about going to law school I suggest you start drinking as much and as often as possible...that is, if you want to keep up with your classmates. At least two nights a week are dedicated to this activity. The old saying "work hard, play hard" certainly holds true. Plus, when you spend the better half of your day reading about kids drowning in pools and the finer points of exercising in personam jurisdiction, you're going to need a fucking drink (or 10).

More anecdotes and pearls of wisdom to come...

Greatest Legal Movies of all Time

According to the ABA Journal's newest edition:

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
12 Angry Men (1957)
My Cousin Vinny (1992)
Anatomy of a Murder (1959)
Inherit the Wind (1960)
Witness for the Prosecution (1957)
Breaker Morant (1980)
Philadephia (1993)
Erin Brockovich (2000)
The Verdict (1982)
Presumed Innocent (1990)
Judgment at Nuremberg (1961)
A Man for All Seasons (1966)
A Few Good Men (1992)
Chicago (2002)
Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
The Paper Chase (1973)
Reversal of Fortune (1990)
Compulsion (1959)
And Justice For All (1979)
In the Name of the Father (1993)
A Civil Action (1998)
Young Mr. Lincoln (1939)
Amistad (1997)
Miracle of 34th Street (1947)

I’d also include, somewhere in this list The Devil’s Advocate, The Rainmaker, and Michael Clayton. Heck, throw in Legally Blonde too!

Man Candy

Takeshi Kaneshiro is a half chinese, half japanese actor. He'll be soon filling in David Beckham's briefs for Armani Underwear ads. OMG, can't wait! This man is beautiful.

Miami- City of (Fake) Boobs

Over the holiday weekend I took a trip to Miami. The weather sucked and did not get a tan at all! I spent most of the time lounging under an umbrella by the pool reading trashy magazines or the New York Times. It was great for people watching. I’ll say this, I saw more fake boobies in 3 days in Miami than I have in my lifetime. There are more silicone enhanced breasts in Miami than in Vegas. Seriously. What was more surprising was the demographic: everyone from 20somethings to 40something moms had them. One might think that this inspired some boob envy but it did not. I have never been more proud of my relatively flat chest! Au naturel is the way to go in my opinion.
This obsession with having unnaturally round, hard breasts is too much for me to wrap my mind around. Why? Most people’s livelihood does not depend on porn star boobs. I mean, right? What I gather from the many plastic surgery make-over shows on TV is that this is a “self-esteem” issue. But true self-esteem should stem from a sense of personal worth and not from a spanking new pair of breasts. That’s my take on it. I think there were times in my less secure days when I did want to have bigger ones, hence my compulsive wear of push-up bras. I’ve since relegated those to the back of my closet since I realized that small boobs are way better in terms of what I can wear without looking like a complete tart.

How To Be A Better Voter. Also, Man Candy

I found this article by George Stephanopoulos called “How to Be a Better Voter” and briefly skimmed it. He makes some good points but the bottom line should be this: want to be a better voter? Vote DEMOCRAT. In the 8 years since we’ve had a Republican president things went from great to “oh shit, we really did it this time!!” The proof is in the shitty economy and crappy Iraq war situation. Who brought all this on? Um…that’s right, Bush and his posse of money-grubbing white geezers.

Hopefully the American public will see the current economic and political hardships as an indication that this country needs a real change when it comes to leadership.
On an unrelated note, George Stephanopoulos is a foxxx.

Dior Couture Show Review

I just saw the pictures from the Christian Dior Couture Fall Show (Style.com) and I was nearly floored by its perfection. John Galliano has once again proven that he is a fashion force to be reckoned with.
The palette was mostly subdued tones of white, cream, grey, and black with punches of color here and there and of course, Dior’s favorite- the leopard print. He seemed to draw inspiration from the 20s, 30s, and 40s, pulling the best details from each era and combining them to yield a spectacular array of dresses and ladylike looks.

The models wore retro, cloche-style hats that Galliano brought into the 21st century through the artful use of tough details such as studs and grommets. Their make-up was equally dramatic- a modern Cleopatra eye, reminiscent of Elizabeth Taylor. Otherwise, the faces were kept minimal and pretty. The shoes can best be described as “Lady Dominatrix” with sky-high heels and lots of exquisite details.

And the clothes? Oh, the clothes…ethereal, frothy. Galliano is a mixmaster when it comes to combining structural elements like nipped in waists and strong shoulders with featherweight tulle skirts. The result is absolutely brilliant and it gives even his most goth clothes a dreamlike quality. And don’t we all need a little fantasy sometimes?

Image from Style.com

Man Candy

Mmm, Pierce Brosnan is still the hotness. Although Daniel Craig really does 007 justice, Pierce is still my all time favorite James Bond because he's the epitome of suave sexiness.

Silly Fashion

I love questionable fashion trends. And I’ve succumbed to quite a few of those in my teen days: tie-dye shirts, Buddha beads, feathered shrugs (eeeek!), oh and those so ubiquitous clunky black platforms that make orthopedic shoes look positively sleek.
In more recent times I’ve toned it down a bit but I still veer off to the left side of crazy every once in a while. I purchased a pair of Ziggy Stardust-worthy silver leggings that I’ve only worn once tho I still really really want to wear them again. Some trends tho, I covet but know better than to try since I’m pretty sure it’s all going to look very silly 6 months from now.

Jumpers/Onesies/Rompers- whatever you want to call them they’re still the same. I tried one on at H&M and was so enamored with it that I almost bought it. Almost. Alas, I didn’t have any money at the time which in the end was Godsend because now I’d be running around in a black linen jumper with 50-dollars less in my bank account. I don’t know why they appeal to me so much…maybe it’s my inner-child that wants to get out

Latex Leggings- again, almost bought a pair from AA last winter. Rihanna rocks them, that’s for sure. I’d look ridiculous because I’m not a pop star.

Open-toed booties- they look cute on all those fashionistas out there in LA but seriously they’re not practical. It’s either your toes are freezing or the rest of you is sweating. They’re not waterproof either.

Super-strappy sandals- while I wholly embrace the gladiator sandal, some just go way way way too far with the trend….like 15 straps too far. Mary Kate and Ashley are fans (seriously, I wrote “are A fan” as if they were one person). Don’t attempt unless you’re an Olsen.

Man Candy

John Legend being John Legend. I can't think of many guys that can pull off pink on pink but John looks soooo dapper. In a recent interview he said he likes Jeff Buckley's "Lover, You Should Have Come Over" which is one more reason to adore him as that is also one of my favorite J.B. songs.

Man Candy

I want to marry Fabrizio Moretti because I love messy-haired musicians who don't seem to give a fuck about their appearence. And also because he plays drums like this...

Why Are All The Moddles White?

The new issue of Vogue Italia features only black models in its fashion editorials and articles pertaining to black culture and art. How is it that a European magazine is so open-minded when it comes to race and American magazines are not? You’re hard-pressed to find a black or Asian model in any major fashion magazine here in the US. European designers also have a tradition of consistently casting black girls too: Yves Saint Laurent (Iman), Gianni Versace (Naomi Campbell), and Karl Lagerfeld (Kimora Lee, Chanel Iman.)

Europe is much less diverse, color-wise than the United States and yet you can find many more black and Asian models that get major campaigns and shows. I call bullshit on the American fashion industry. Stop the white-washing. The world is full of amazingly beautiful women of ALL ethnicities. We need more diversity in our magazines so as to accurately reflect the full range of human skin tone, hair color and texture, eye color and eye shape.

Man Candy

The cutest rapper to emerge out of Chicago since…well, ever. Love him, and his music.
Go baby. Go, go baby. See you at Lolla, hopefully.

An Angsty Guide to NYC

My trip to NYC this past weekend reminded me of how much I love the city and how much I hate tourists. In Chicago, at least, I don’t have to deal much with tourists as far as my regular routine is concerned. In NY, however, you’re constantly battling an onslaught of sightseers. It’s hideous to say the least. Most tourists are instantly recognizable to the trained eye and they are universally despised by city-dwellers. There is a particular breed of tourists that arouses feeling of hatred and anger more than any other. You know what I’m talking about: the ones from Anywhere, USA. They don’t abide by the unspoken city rules and consequently get treated as such.

So here are a few tips for NYC-bound travelers. They’re really easy to follow and should drastically improve the quality of your trip.

Dress for the place you’re at. One thing that sets tourists apart from New Yorkers is the way they dress. Fanny packs, I “heart” NY tshirts, clunky gym shoes. That is not appropriate attire for a cosmopolitan city. Fanny packs, especially, are an invitation to getting mugged or cheated. So it’s best to try and blend in, rather than stand out. Check out some street fashion blogs (thesartorialist.blogspot.com) for some inspiration.

Don’t linger in the street. People HATE it when an obnoxious tourist walks in front of them and abruptly stops to take pictures or when they consult their maps in the middle of the fucking street. If you must do that, go into a coffee place (there are at least 5 on any city block) and sit down, get a drink, and figure out where you’re going. Or just simply ask, nicely, and we’ll give you directions.

When eating out, avoid the obvious tourist traps such as anything in Times Square. In fact, don’t even GO to Times Square. It’s a waste of time. Buy a postcard from somewhere instead. There are thousands of amazing restaurants in the city. Whether you’re in the mood for French, Italian, Chinese, or plain old American food there’s something for everyone. My pics? Cozy Soup and Burger for delicious late-night fare, Congee Village and Xo Kitchen for the cheapest, most delicious Chinese food (there’s no “Orange chicken” here, so consider yourself warned.) My favorite Italian place is Puttanesca on 9th and 57th. The prices are reasonable and the fresh pasta is divine. But they only take cash or American Express (I found this out the hard way.) Brunch is a time-honored tradition so Sunday morning get yourself to the Upper West Side or the villages and indulge in eggs benedict and mimosas. They are they best hangover cure.

NYC is a walking city. Everyone walks or takes the subway. In case of late night inebriation, cabs are the way to go. Don't complain about the rats/garbage/heat as there's nothing you can do about it. So make like a New Yorker and walk, walk, walk. It's the best way to see the city anyway. In case you get too far, there's always a subway stop within 5 blocks.

Hope this was somewhat helpful and that it didn't put off too many people. NY is a wonderful city that has a lot to offer, if only you go in with a positive attitude, a platinum credit card, and no fanny packs.

Fashion Shot of the Day

I don’t think that there’s anything earth shatteringly inventive or avant garde about this outfit but therein lays its beauty. It’s simple and stunning, the perfect illustration of the brilliance and versatility of a good dress. Dresses for summer are a no-brainer. How else can you look put together with as little effort as possible and still stay cool in the sweltering heat? The length is absolutely ideal and the color and pattern are very flattering. I’m a big fan of orange for summer, it works well with a tan and unlike, say, yellow, it’s an easy color to wear. The white pattern makes it more interesting. With dresses it’s best to not over-accessorize, it can look contrived. In keeping with the easy, breezy (yeah, Molly Sims is a Cover Girl) style of the dress, opt for a nice long necklace or dangly earrings, never both. The brown peep toe shoes are adorable and keep the focus on that gorgeous dress.

As for hair, I thoroughly approve of the tousled waves but a casual ponytail would work just as well.

Same Angst, Different City

So as a lot of you already know, I'll be moving back to NYC in August, after a one year hiatus. Not to worry, I'll be just as opinionated (if not more so) as I already am. New York brings out my inner bitch like no other place on earth. I will forever hold a torch for Chicago tho. Ok, maybe not a torch but one of those annoying birthday candles that you can never blow out.

Man Candy

Speaking of meat, James Franco is one delicious piece of prime rib man candy.

Meat is Good

I have a very half-assed theory that life’s pleasure can be measured in calories. Generally speaking, the more calories a certain food item has the more enjoyable it is. For example: a low-fat turkey burger v. a regular, fatty beef burger (and I’m not talking about that frozen shit either). So my theory has a lot of holes in it since low-cal food CAN be absolutely delicious but that’s why I said it’s half-assed in the first place.

My point is that I love to eat. Eating good food is up there among life’s biggest pleasures alongside sex and particularly good books. People say that you should eat to live, not the other way around, and I say “Fuck that!” I live to eat. Give me medium rare steaks, mussels in white wine sauce, escargots in garlic butter, foie gras, poached salmon, pork tenderloin, shrimp alfredo, duck confit, pommes frites, and as much mayo and butter that can be possibly ingested and I’ll be the happiest person alive. Sure, all this food excess is not without negative side effects. Like senior year of college when I gained at least 15 pounds thanks to a steady diet of fried pub food and beer, washed down with the occasional bottle of red wine. Or when I gorged on corned beef and chopped liver at 2nd Ave. Deli. Or the many, many times when I threw up after a particularly fun night of binge drinking. But is a little nausea or vomiting going to stop me? Hell no. I soldier on, eating my way through burgers, chocolate cakes, pad thai, and potato gratin like it’s my business.

There is no food that’s off limits for me and nothing pisses me off more than picky eaters. And vegetarians with hoity-toity attitudes of superiority. Humans were born to eat meat and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. So maybe my daily diet is not exactly a meat-fest but when it’s time to bring my A-game to the table I bring it. Yeah, my body might temporarily go into ketosis but that’s a small price to pay for enjoying sublime food. I eat whatever strikes my fancy and I feel really bad for people who religiously plan their meals everyday and count calories and fat content. That’s no way to live. I’ll try anything once because how will I know if I’ll like something if I never try it? I’ll just as happily eat at the local Mexican joint where they serve up fried burritos and enchiladas con mole as I’ll eat at a four-star restaurant where everything is drenched in truffle oil and foie gras. What I won’t eat is ridiculously over-processed food like American “cheese.” That shit is not even food and should be banned.

This quote by Anthony Bourdain, complete asshole, elitist, ex-junkie, and one of my personal heroes sums it up best:

“Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food.”
from Kitchen Confidential

Man Candy

Give me a man with a guitar and I'll be happy. Give me a spot at a top law school and a full ride and I'll DEFINITELY be happy!

Sexy- RIP

I'm over people using the word "sexy" to describe everything from underwear to abstract philosophical concepts. Blame it on Victoria’s Secret or Bret Michaels or Justin Timberlake for abusing this word to the point where it lost all its meaning. Shall we take a look at the dictionary definition of the word? Yes, let’s.

“Sexy”-adjective
1. concerned predominantly or excessively with sex, risqué.
2. sexually interesting or exciting, radiating sexuality.
3. excitingly appealing, glamorous.

Not a bad word, really, if used properly. Notice that it’s only the third and final definition that doesn’t directly relate to sex and sexuality. I think that we should restrain ourselves from using “sexy” in all contexts other than sexual ones. Lingerie and clothing can be sexy, so can a guy's musuclar back or a woman's toned legs. Those are all appropriate usages of the word. But when advertisers decide to splash the word onto every single fucking thing you can buy it's starting to get a little annoying. Likewise, when Wall Street Journal articles start using the word to describe profit increases it's time for concern.
I’m probably guilty of what I’m accusing others of doing but as of right now I’m going to think before spewing out a “sexy” tirade. Bottom line is that “sexy” is just a really lazy-ass way to describe something and that’s really, well…not sexy.

Attack of the Khaki Klones

If that sounds like the name of a camp horror movie it’s because it might as well be. For some reason the climbing temperatures bring out the legions of pleat-front khaki wearing men. When walking down the street one is confronted with a veritable army of drab. Goddamn the Gap and their aggressive ad campaigns on the mid-90s in which they tried to push khakis onto EVERYONE. It seems to have really caught on with the male. I’m not opposed to the idea of khaki pants per se because they can look good if they have a flat-front and are paired with a cool linen shirt or blazer. Oh yes, and they are not wrinkled or worn with those loafers not even my grandpa would buy (my grandpa, btw, is a very stylish man who has a thing for fedoras and trench coats a la The Untouchables which he pulls off because he's part old school way of dressing)

Yes, He Can

The battle was epic. The spoils of victory are sweet. Last night, Barack Obama secured the long overdue Democratic party’s nomination for president making him the first non-white male to lead on a major party ticket. While part of me is slightly sad that Clinton did not win (would have loved to see a woman as president) I have to admit that I’m ecstatic about this. There’s finally someone who can inspire real change and breathe some fresh air into the musty American political landscape. This election cycle has been, aside from the uncalled for cheap shots and pastor controversies, about breaking down racial and sexual barriers. As early as ten years ago this was only a beautiful but possibly unattainable dream.
I’m once again proud to be a Democrat!

And for the record, I don't think that Hillary Clinton is the establishment's candidate as she has been portrayed. The establishment is a bunch of crusty white guys sitting around and smoking cigars while plotting how to continue ruling the world (conspiracy theory much?) and Hillary is anything but that. Had she won the nomination I would have voted for her without hesitation. I am dismayed at the media's egregious attack on her. For some reason the issue of sexism has not really been discussed and has been generally glossed over in favor of its more prominent cousin, racism. Both are equally bad and both should be addressed from now on. What Hillary has done here is pave the way for women in politics and in no way is this is a "defeat."

Dream Team?

Can this really be?? AP reports that Hillary Clinton told Washington colleagues that she'd be open to be Obama's VP. The return of the Dream Team! This may actually be a good thing because she might appease certain disgruntled voters.
Where does this leave Edwards?

The Enemy of All That's Good and Holy in the World

How do I hate thee, Nickelback? Let me count the ways.
I actually only hate Nickelback because they and their music sucks. All of their songs sound EXACTLY the same: the same chord progression, the same rhythm, and the same mind-numbingly stupid lyrics. Here’s a sample of their eloquence:

“Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head.”

What is that even supposed to mean? Nickelback is the carefully packaged product of the same record industry that has produced other musical gems such as Creed and Daughtry. Thank god Creed is now defunct because it makes choosing the worst band currently in existence that much easier. (hint: it starts with an N)
Now I’m not some kind of musical elitist since I listen to a wide range of genres and everyone’s entitled to have their opinion. But with all due respect, if you like Nickelback then you’re a fucking retard. No disrespect to the mentally handicapped.

Some bands out there I have a smidge of respect for because even though they fail, at least they try to do something different. But Nickelback churns out the same festering turd of a song time and time again. Bands like Radiohead, for example, do have a distinct sound that makes them undeniably recognizable but they’re also innovative musically, always pushing the envelope. The only thing that Nickelback manages to push is my buttons.

My question is: Who listens to this music?? I mean, some people have to purchase their records since they’re doing so well. I don’t want to believe that Americans, as a whole, have such shitty-ass taste in music. I need some answers!

Bret Michaels Has Great Taste In Music

And now something completely different. In my constant struggle to avoid work (it takes more stamina and perseverence than one may think), I came across Bret Michaels’ list of top summer songs on People.com. It’s wonderfully bad! I mean, he fulfilled the stereotype of a stripper-loving, meathead and his choice of music in no way detracts from it.

1.Sweet Home Alabama- the only song I can actually get behind. This is in fact a classic.
2. You Shook Me All Night Long- maybe if I’m seriously sloshed
3. Anything But Mine- Kenney Chesney who? Oh right, that dude who married Renne Zelwegger for a hot minute.
4. Feels Like Tonight- Daughtry…barf
5. Cowboy- Kid Rock was last popular….never?
6. Photograph/Rockstar- Nickelback embodies everything wrong with the music business today.

On a side note, he is and was so horribly unattractive. He wasn't hot even during Poison's heyday. Give me Jon Bon Jovi anytime. And what is up with the bandana/extensions combo? Even though the guy's a total douche his show is endlessly entertaining. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a Rock of Love 3 because I want to see how they're going to top Rock of Love 2 (maybe all the contestants will be strippers/porn stars?)

Grievances

This Democratic primary is getting more and more about pettiness and less and less about the qualifications and policies of the candidates. Case in point: the latest article in Vanity Fair attacking Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton!! Last I checked, he was not running for president. But the purpose of the article is not to expose Clinton’s womanizing ways but to somehow undermine Hillary’s candidacy. Everyone knows that Bubba’s no saint so it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anybody. Frankly, I don’t think that Hillary even gives a damn about what he does because she’s got her eye on the prize here.

Same goes for people claiming that if Obama gets the nomination they’ll vote for McCain. WTF? Are you fucking mental? You’d rather vote for a geriatric Republican than a black man? There’s something seriously wrong with some people in this country if they’re going to be so near sighted to vote ANOTHER Republican into the White House. Maybe the US is not as progressive as we'd all like to believe. Whatever happened to discussing policy instead of picking candidates based on which end of the color spectrum they fall?

Lastly, Florida…what a hot mess. So they’re pissed that their votes might not count. Hmmm, let me think here. Florida was the star of the political debacle known as Election 2000 and it's messing up now too. Yeah, you know what fuckers…your votes SHOULDN’T count because you suck at this democratic electoral process. You were given a chance to vote with the rest of the country and you chose to do your own thing and now look what happens- it may have cost Clinton the nomination. There, I said it. So shut the fuck up Florida and go back to making orange juice.

Bitch and the City

Sometimes I really like Sarah Jessica Parker (like when she called out Maxim magazine naming her the least attractive woman on the planet) and sometimes I really don’t. This is about the latter. She made such a big fucking deal over her SATC premiere dress. Apparently, Olivier Theyskens (creative director of Nina Ricci) assured her that her dress had never been worn before. It turns out that he was lying and that some no-name socialite wore it to the Met Ball. So what? First of all, NOBODY even remembers seeing the dress before. You’re Sarah Jessica Parker for fuck’s sake so if anyone down the line will wonder who wore that dress, most likely they’ll think of you and not some socialite. How incredibly shallow of you (not to mention that the dress was most likely free!) I held you to a higher standard and you’ve let me down.

Label Lust

Manolo Blahnik? So “Sex and the City” circa 2002. Christian Louboutin? Overexposed already. My newest shoe obsession is French designer Barbara Bui. She also designs some fabulous clothes and handbags but the shoes!...oh, the shoes are spectacular. They are sexy yet feminine, tough yet sophisticated. Yes, in my Carrie-esque fantasy I could afford to prance around all day in them. Like these platform gladiators- so very rock’n roll. Hmm…I can just imagine pairing them with black opaque tights, a floaty white dress, and a tailored black coat. Eat your heart out Carrie Bradshaw.
Or how about those cream colored peep toes with red straps? Seriously high on style and would add a dose of edginess to just about anything. Can someone lend me 650 dollars please?

Fashion Shot of the Day

As much as I hate saying this, Ashley Olsen almost always looks kinda good, unlike Mary Kate who looks like even the bag lady would take pity on her. I really love what Ashley did with this ensemble. The miniskirt/long blazer combo is really hard to pull off without seeming like you forgot your pants at home. The proportions are damn near perfect. She breaks up the look with the long grey tshirt and a mismatched brown clutch. And check out those shoes! So hot. Gigantic sunglasses and behead hair complete the look. I’m giving this an “A.”

Man Candy

Rafael "Rafa" Nadal will win his fourth consecutive French Open title this year. It will happen, mark my words. He's the king of clay courts and not even Federer's suave moves can stop him. I like that his trademark look on court is the bandana and sleeveless shirt because damn, the boy has some sexy arms. He's one of the most talented players out there and with more time to refine his game he can be one of the greatest in history.

Sweet Home Chicago

So Chicago ain't that bad(some people will kill me for even insinuating that there's something wrong with it). It's no New York but there are certain things in this city that make me happy and are in some ways, irreplaceable.
1. Hot baristas at Intelligentsia
2. Cherry pocket danishes on Saturdays at Selmarie
3. Laurie's Planet of Sound
4. The shops on Southport
5. Cubs games
6. Hot guys at Cubs games
7. Drinks at the Sofitel bar
8. Sweet Thang bakery
9. The outdoor patio at Laetitia's Cafe
10. Shoes at Akira
11. Guys playing volleyball at North Ave. beach
12. Montrose dog park
13. Free concerts and movies at Grant Park
14. Summer festivals
15. Coffee and cake at Julius Meinl
16. The Subterranean
17. The Music Box theater
18. The cute DJ at NorthSide Bar
19. Reading a book in Emerald City Gardens
20. Doing the RedEye Sudoku and crossword every morning
21. The Reader
22. People watching on Michigan Avenue
23. Walking around downtown on my lunch break
24. Eye sex with hot guys on the El
25. Hunting for Mies van der Rohe "Barcelona" chairs in public buildings

Absolut Man Candy

This post is in honor of the Sex and the City movie. Thank you for Jason Lewis aka Smith. This man is so gorgeous. Hopefully he'll have a meaty (!!) role in the movie. :-)

Man Candy

The French Open is well under way and so I thought that Marat Safin would be a great choice for Man Candy. Man, tennis players are super sexy. Roger Federer is still my favorite sexy player but Marat is not too bad either. If Federer is the good guy gentleman of the tennis world then Safin is definitely the resident bad boy.

Pet Peeves- Part 1

I have many pet peeves. So many that it was a daunting task to try and write them ALL down. So I had to do some triaging and came up with a list that is satisfactory for now.

Not getting my coffee as soon as I want it- it leads to coffee withdrawal symptoms: irritability, mild violence, erratic behavior, abusive language. In short, not a pretty sight so you’ll probably want to stay away from me.

Delayed/cancelled flights- there’s nothing worse than being stuck in a goddamn airport because your flight was delayed or cancelled for no apparent reason. Once I was scheduled to leave for NYC at 3 PM and my flight didn’t leave until 9 PM! This other time my flight was entirely cancelled and I ended up spending the whole day at O’Hare (see previous post where I lashed out at United Airlines), doing Jack Daniels shots at the airport bar with a fellow stranded traveler.

Slow people- not as in mentally slow, but just physically slow. I’m a fast walker and there’s nothing worse than being stuck behind some slow-ass person or, even worse, a tourist who stops every 5 seconds to take pictures.

Tourists from the middle of fucking nowhere- see above. They complain that people in the city are mean. Well, you know what?? We don’t like you either. You’re invading our city streets with your mom jeans, obnoxious kids, and sweatshirts proclaiming whatever state you’re from. Have some sense of the place you’re at…Michigan Avenue is NOT a farm. While I’m at it, how about also getting rid of those fanny packs?

Overtly peppy people- can not stand! I’m not gonna be nice to you so this whole thing you’re doing trying to be super nice to me is just going to backfire on you. Bitch, please, don’t try to act like you’re my best friend because if you do my coffee deprived self will not be pleased.

People who list “The DaVinci Code” as their favorite book- I picked it up and couldn’t get through 2 pages of it. It was seriously that bad. I even made it halfway through “The Devil Wears Prada” and that wasn’t a literary masterpiece. People criticized the book for its historical and factual inaccuracies and misrepresentation of Christianity but I think it should have been ripped apart for its below par writing. Dan Brown’s attempt at creating a suspenseful atmosphere is laughable. So if anyone claims that it’s their favorite book then I must, by association, surmise that you too are a tasteless, brainless piece of crap. End of story.
This is actually different from having read and finished the book. I really don’t mind that but please, for the love of all that’s good in the world, don’t say that it’s your favorite.

8 Fun Things To Do With Toilet Seat Covers

When my face is so shiny Paris Hilton can use it as a mirror to check herself out I run for the nearest bathroom and get one of those toilet seat covers. They work wonders at soaking up all that excess oil from your face while keeping make-up intact. It’s seriously the best thing ever. How I love multi-purpose products…not only can you protect your ass from the nasty stuff in public toilets but you can also combat over-active skin glands. But that got me thinking “What else can you do with toilet seat covers?” The answers might surprise you.
1. origami
2. instant push-up bra!
3. stuff into too big shoes
4. fashion it into an avant-garde necklace and tell everyone it’s the latest thing in Paris
5. bow ties
6. hair curlers (wrap hair around and twist up)
7. write the great American novel while on the can

Some of these suggestions are more serious than others.

And The Award for Dumbest Mistake of the Year Goes To...

Traveling sucks. What sucks even more is missing a flight for no apparent reason. I think I’ve hit a new low (or high?) of incompetence: missing my flight after I checked in and after I got to the gate. How is that possible? Well, it takes a highly skilled person to do it. And by “highly skilled” I mean “without any fucking common sense.” That would be me. This is how it all went down.

8:00ish AM arrive at airport, check-in
8:10 AM have a smoke outside the terminal, check out hot marine
8:15 AM check out hot marine in security line
8:20 AM cleared security, waiting in line for my grande iced Americano at Starbucks
8:30 AM buy trashy magazines at newsstand
8:35 AM at gate B18, waiting for flight, txting my girls
8:40ish AM boarding begins, I get uncontrollable urge to pee (probably from all the coffee I just drank)
8:56 AM got back to the gate, everyone’s gone, doors closed.
9:05AM I watch as the plane is pulling away without me on board.

FUCK THIS SHIT. The asshole at the counter would not let me in, fucking douche. Thankfully I got on the next flight and got a sweet ass exit row seat but I was thisclose to potentially missing that one too (due to a CTA malfunction, totally not my fault this time...tho going to Sweet Thang for a croissant might make me about 20% responsible)

Man Candy

Too tired....there you go, some Man Candy. Benjamin Bratt. What more do you want? Now I'm gonna go and give myself some shock therapy. Maybe that will help me come out of this Florida-sun induced brain coma (more on that later)

Confessions Of A Beauty Junkie

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Love Is (Color) Blind

There’s an interesting piece in Jezebel on dating outside your race. Some people view it as “vengeance dating”- dating someone of a different race with the purpose of pissing other people off (presumably family or people of your own race.) It’s fucked up. Whatever happened to dating someone because you like them…the person? It’s not a question of race, it’s a question of being attracted to an individual and that has nothing to do with skin color or eye shape. I’m white and I’ve tasted the rainbow (haha, Skittles) and I like it all. Sometimes I fixate on a particular type of guy, so much that a friend of mine “accused” me of reverse racism, but generally I find ALL races attractive.

I really don’t understand how some people can exclude a whole group of people from their pool of what they consider attractive. Especially when they are referring to people of their own ethnic background. Another friend of mine claims that she could never date an Asian guy (even though she’s half-Chinese) because “I just don’t find them attractive.” WTF? That ain’t right, yo. There’s something attractive in every ethnicity, you just have to open your mind- and legs- just a teensy tiny bit, and put aside stupid white-centric ideas of attractiveness, in order to see it. Love is color blind. Maybe that’s just my silly/idealistic take on it but I like it and I'm sticking to it!

OMFG!! Jen and John??! NO WAY

There’s nothing remotely intelligent, educational, or insightful about celebrity gossip magazines. They are held to an editorial standard slightly above The National Enquirer but slightly below Cosmo. But they sure as hell are entertaining whenever you need mindless fun. Tabloids are the equivalent of E! News in the world of print (and I fucking LOVE E! News)

After years of research (trust me on this one) I’ve discovered that there are certain things that must be included in order to have a successful issue:

Lovely ladies in lovely frocks (and the budget swaps)
Gratuitous celebrity beach shots
Who’s hooking up/breaking up
Brangelina and/or TomKat rumor du jour
Style winners and losers
Start getting thin/fat
Baby or wedding pics
Diet tips

The good folk over at People, Life&Style, OK!, Star, InTouch, and US Weekly toil their surely little asses every week to satisfy your sick obsession with celebrity. But not all mags are created equal…well, they are but some are more equal than others. It’s a mad mag world out there and it can be daunting for the tabloid novice. Where to start? Good question. My evaluation of the leading celeb rags as follows:

People- caters to the celebrities themselves so you can be sure that there are not so many outlandish rumors in it; generally reliable info but skews towards the blah in entertainment value.

OK!- celeb kiss asses. I’d suggest reading it only after all other options have been exhausted. Also, what the fuck is up with the exclamation point at the end.

Life&Style- heavy on the style. You can be sure to find at least 10 pages dedicated to the latest trends, what your favorite anorexic starlet is wearing and how to replicate the look. Being an irredeemable clotheswhore, I kinda like this one, anorexic starlets aside.

US Weekly- latest gossip. There’s always something on the non-existent Jen/Angelina drama and Jessica Simpson’s love life. Great gym read.

Star- the grande dame of tabloids, here you can find the most ridiculous, salacious cover stories and rumors. Thoroughly entertaining. Star also seems to have an obsession with celebrity bodies as there is always a story on celebs with cellulite, weight loss, and “scary skinny” celebs. It’s a mixed bag.

InTouch- Star lite. I don't care for it.

Man Candy

Duuuuude! I love Harold and Kumar and I love John Cho. He's abso-fucking-lutely adorable this one. And it seems like he knows a thing or two about getting blazed. Haha. Not that I encourage people to do that or anything...kids, drugs are bad. Don't buy drugs (but if you happen to get them for free then by all means)
Anyway, John Cho- he's cute, check out the suit!

Now for a classic Harold and Kumar quote: "Did Doogie Houser just steal my fucking car? "

Yes, yes he did.

Random Thoughts

It’s often hard to write something that is well-worded, insightful, and funny at the same time. More often than not I have failed at accomplishing that. Blogging is not like a college essay: there’s no introduction, middle, and conclusion. One can try to do that but it seems that it’s artificial and not in synch with the fast paced medium of the internet. Posts tend to be more like glimpses into a person’s mind at a particular time. That’s what I’m trying to do here: write about whatever comes to my mind, whenever. Luckily, my head is always preoccupied with one of six main categories:
Sex
Politics
Pop culture (music, movies, celeb gossip)
Fashion
The dismal state of the world today
Literature

I don’t want to sound shallow and I recognize that some of those categories are not exactly scholarly pursuits but it comes with the territory. I’m not a one dimensional person and I don’t have any one interest. I’m also a product of a society obsessed with image and beauty but I call myself a feminist. Luckily, the two are not mutually exclusive anymore. I can fucking love to get dolled up and take an interest in international politics at the same time. Being intelligent and pretty (or so I’ve been told) can co-exist somewhat peacefully.

Music Musings- Jeff Buckley

Today is gloomy and depressing. My whole body hurts from working out last night and I really could use some Vicodin. Naturally, this is the perfect backdrop for a Jeff Buckley binge. Oh Jeff, you were so brilliant. Your songs speak to the millions of people who’ve experienced love in its most dismal forms: heartbreak, cheating, disenchantment, fear of commitment, unrequited love. Sometimes I just need to feel miserable and you always do it for me. But this is not some self-indulgent, “oh you should feel sorry for me” post (well, because I thoroughly enjoy my misery, thank you very much!)

I’ve talked about music a little bit before and now I’d like to expand on that, specifically on Jeff Buckley. His music touches the heart and stirs the soul. He’s undoubtedly one of the most talented singer/songwriters of the 90’s and it’s just so tragic that his career was cut short by a freak accident. Buckley’s vocals are alternately ghostly and desperate, as if they’re being weighed down by some inner tumult that has no other way of being released. That’s a common theme in his lyrics: turmoil, intense depression and elation, lust, and love. His songs aren’t always smooth, in fact, they are often jarring: lyrically and musically.

Despite The Tears is a good example of this. The song starts out melancholy with:
“He found a letter from his lover
She said she’s never coming home
His things were lying on her doorstep
And his tears they fell like rain”
Like in a lot of his songs, the lyrics tell the story of a love gone wrong with a tone of regret and relegation to the status quo permeating throughout. The track culminates with a wrenching repetition of “despite the tears” and “he would always lover her” that is contrasted with the musicality of the rest of the song.

Buckley’s music really speaks to my tormented inner self. Lord knows that I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my love life and I guess it’s nice to know that someone out there feels the same way.

Man Candy

Mixed race and wearing a suit…yum! There’s nothing more that I can ask for really. Oh, and he’s from Chicago which is pretty fucking sweet too. Just look at those come-hither blue eyes. Meow!

Summer Fashion

I love summer- hot nights and hot days, barbecues, beer, baseball games, the beach, and hanging out with friends. What I don’t love is the hot, often sticky weather and what it does to my hair. Seriously, it poufs up and out and I end up putting in a whole bunch of product that ends up making it worse. I also don’t enjoy sweating through all my clothes after 0.5 seconds of leaving the house. That’s why this summer I decided to rely on a wardrobe of versatile dresses in colors other than black. Okay, I lie…I have 2 black shirtdresses that I plan on wearing to death. It’s impossible to give up black entirely and it just wouldn’t be in my nature to not wear black 75% of the time. Here are some of my picks for the perfect summer dresses and how to wear them.

For play: Forever 21 halter dress, $29.80
The color is striking against pale or tan skin and the shape is superflattering (it masks a tummy after you've had too many cocktails.) I’d forgo any necklaces on this one and stick to silver or gold hoops and a nice cuff bracelet. Okay, here’s the fun part- you can wear it during the day with flat gladiators or wedges and swap the shoes for a hot sandal at night. Brilliant!

For work (or play): Arden B. silk/cotton blend tunic, $78
Easy and breezy. The silk/cotton blend is super breathable and ensures that you’ll stay cool even in the hottest summer day. Layer over leggings for work or wear alone for after work. There’s seriously nothing easier to wear than a shirtdress and this one is so fucking perfect. I got it in both brown and cream so I have many options. Throw on a lightweight, colorful scarf and big shades and you’re good to go.

Man Candy

I saw Iron Man for the second time in theaters. Now that doesn't happen often, I'm not about to pay 10 bucks for something that I've already seen but sometimes there are nexceptions. Actually, I wasn't all that into seeing the movie in the first place but I was totally blown away by it. Tony Stark is a great character because he treads the fine line between anti-hero and superhero. Robert Downey Jr. does such a great job at developing the character. Jon Favreau probably made the best decision when casting him because he's absolutely brilliant and believable as the boozing, womanizing, self-involved Tony Stark.
Now on to Robert Downey Jr... I had no clue this man had such a rocking body. My jaw literally dropped when he was pounding all that iron to make his suit. Good to see that he's having such a great comeback because he's no doubt one of the best actors out there.

Why I Hate North Face- And Other Stories

Confession: I judge people on how they look. So fucking sue me. Everyone does it, like it or not. Oh but you're gonna say "It's not the way you look that matters, it's what you can bring to the table" blah blah blah. The harsh reality is that you're never going to make it to the table if you look like a total slob. So suck it up. Well, outside a professional environment outward appearences shouldn't matter so much. But I find that making snap judgments based on people's outfits saves me a lot of trouble and time. There's a few things that tip me off to the nature of a person so I know right away that they're probably someone that I don't want to associate myself with. So let's get to it.

1. North Face fleece jackets- ubiquitous on college campuses nationwide. There's an especially high concetration of them at sports bars around Wrigley Field on both men and women. First of all, these were made for athletes and mountain climbers. So unless you're an athlete or mountain climber there's no real good reason to wear one. Chicago weather being what it is, a fleece jacket might be useful BUT with so many more stylish options out there why settle for North Face (not to mention that they are WAY overpriced.)
And when like over half of the people at a bar are wearing the same thing why would you want to be one of them and blend in? Where's the originality? Fashion is supposed to be a form of self expression. Wearing the same thing as everyone else sends the message that you're not creative or have an individual sense of style.

2. Uggs- Jesus, I don't want to go over this again.

3. Popped collars- make me wanna throw up a little in my mouth. Most places are not a frat house, so save this "style statement" for the next kegger, not the real world.

4. Too short jeans/pants- really now...most pants can altered to fit properly. There's no excuse. If they're too short just don't buy them. It's as simple as that.

5. Anything with writing on the ass- it's just really trashy and also not 2003 anymore. It's a beg for the wrong kind of attention.

6. Too tight/too shiny/too low/too short/too whore-y
This very broad category includes exposed bras, too much cleavage, caked-on makeup, "bra bulge," nipples, anything that shows off a tramp stamp, hooker heels, and anything purchased at Discovery Clothing.

So by following the above guidelines you too can avoid talking to people that are clearly not worth your time. I believe that clothes are a reflection of the person wearing them and sooner or later their true trashy personality will show even tho it may not be immediately apparent.

Man Candy

So Kal Penn may not be exactly scorching hot a la Gabriel Aubry but I just love him. He's funny (Harold and Kumar) and he can play leading man just as well (The Namesake) I don't know, there's something really endearing about him. He seems like the kind of guy that you can drink and get high with and still take home to mom and lie and tell her that he's like in med school or whatever (yep, because he's brown and all brown people want to be doctors...oh, stereotyping at its best)

Fashion Shot of the Day

Love this chick! She's beautiful, smart, and really talented...oh, and she looks good with a shaved head too. Can she seriously do any wrong?
So let's start with this ensemble. Formal shorts are a tricky thing to wear. They can easily veer into the Beyonce at the 2004 VMA territory (remember those gold lame atrocities...who can forget?) In this case however, the shorts effectively act as a skirt with the matching tailored jacket. I love the fuchsia shirt and the pom pom pumps (oh look, alliteration...I wasn't even trying.) So much fun! Her hair works perfectly too- the tousled waves keep it from looking severe. Kudos.

Man Candy

I recently saw a pic of Ioan Gruffudd (pronounced like Griffith...don't ask me, it's Welsh) and I was like "Damn, who is this fine-ass gentleman?" Sadly, I was never a fan of The Fantastic Four so his hotness is news to me, I did miss out though. This picture of him is great, a la The Sartorialist. I suppose now I'm on a binge of hot guys in suits. Haha!