Thursday, May 15, 2008

Why I Hate North Face- And Other Stories

Confession: I judge people on how they look. So fucking sue me. Everyone does it, like it or not. Oh but you're gonna say "It's not the way you look that matters, it's what you can bring to the table" blah blah blah. The harsh reality is that you're never going to make it to the table if you look like a total slob. So suck it up. Well, outside a professional environment outward appearences shouldn't matter so much. But I find that making snap judgments based on people's outfits saves me a lot of trouble and time. There's a few things that tip me off to the nature of a person so I know right away that they're probably someone that I don't want to associate myself with. So let's get to it.

1. North Face fleece jackets- ubiquitous on college campuses nationwide. There's an especially high concetration of them at sports bars around Wrigley Field on both men and women. First of all, these were made for athletes and mountain climbers. So unless you're an athlete or mountain climber there's no real good reason to wear one. Chicago weather being what it is, a fleece jacket might be useful BUT with so many more stylish options out there why settle for North Face (not to mention that they are WAY overpriced.)
And when like over half of the people at a bar are wearing the same thing why would you want to be one of them and blend in? Where's the originality? Fashion is supposed to be a form of self expression. Wearing the same thing as everyone else sends the message that you're not creative or have an individual sense of style.

2. Uggs- Jesus, I don't want to go over this again.

3. Popped collars- make me wanna throw up a little in my mouth. Most places are not a frat house, so save this "style statement" for the next kegger, not the real world.

4. Too short jeans/pants- really now...most pants can altered to fit properly. There's no excuse. If they're too short just don't buy them. It's as simple as that.

5. Anything with writing on the ass- it's just really trashy and also not 2003 anymore. It's a beg for the wrong kind of attention.

6. Too tight/too shiny/too low/too short/too whore-y
This very broad category includes exposed bras, too much cleavage, caked-on makeup, "bra bulge," nipples, anything that shows off a tramp stamp, hooker heels, and anything purchased at Discovery Clothing.

So by following the above guidelines you too can avoid talking to people that are clearly not worth your time. I believe that clothes are a reflection of the person wearing them and sooner or later their true trashy personality will show even tho it may not be immediately apparent.


Kisha said...

Hilarious...yet mostly true! LOL I especially agree with the North Face and Uggs! Wow

Kisha said...

Oh and I totally agree with the other blog about Kal Penn!!! I LOVE HIM. he's smart, cute and funny. What better combination!!! Guess I should have written this on the other blog huh? LOL