Traveling sucks. What sucks even more is missing a flight for no apparent reason. I think I’ve hit a new low (or high?) of incompetence: missing my flight after I checked in and after I got to the gate. How is that possible? Well, it takes a highly skilled person to do it. And by “highly skilled” I mean “without any fucking common sense.” That would be me. This is how it all went down.
8:00ish AM arrive at airport, check-in
8:10 AM have a smoke outside the terminal, check out hot marine
8:15 AM check out hot marine in security line
8:20 AM cleared security, waiting in line for my grande iced Americano at Starbucks
8:30 AM buy trashy magazines at newsstand
8:35 AM at gate B18, waiting for flight, txting my girls
8:40ish AM boarding begins, I get uncontrollable urge to pee (probably from all the coffee I just drank)
8:56 AM got back to the gate, everyone’s gone, doors closed.
9:05AM I watch as the plane is pulling away without me on board.
FUCK THIS SHIT. The asshole at the counter would not let me in, fucking douche. Thankfully I got on the next flight and got a sweet ass exit row seat but I was thisclose to potentially missing that one too (due to a CTA malfunction, totally not my fault this time...tho going to Sweet Thang for a croissant might make me about 20% responsible)