Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The Enemy of All That's Good and Holy in the World

How do I hate thee, Nickelback? Let me count the ways.
I actually only hate Nickelback because they and their music sucks. All of their songs sound EXACTLY the same: the same chord progression, the same rhythm, and the same mind-numbingly stupid lyrics. Here’s a sample of their eloquence:

“Look at this photograph

Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head.”

What is that even supposed to mean? Nickelback is the carefully packaged product of the same record industry that has produced other musical gems such as Creed and Daughtry. Thank god Creed is now defunct because it makes choosing the worst band currently in existence that much easier. (hint: it starts with an N)
Now I’m not some kind of musical elitist since I listen to a wide range of genres and everyone’s entitled to have their opinion. But with all due respect, if you like Nickelback then you’re a fucking retard. No disrespect to the mentally handicapped.

Some bands out there I have a smidge of respect for because even though they fail, at least they try to do something different. But Nickelback churns out the same festering turd of a song time and time again. Bands like Radiohead, for example, do have a distinct sound that makes them undeniably recognizable but they’re also innovative musically, always pushing the envelope. The only thing that Nickelback manages to push is my buttons.

My question is: Who listens to this music?? I mean, some people have to purchase their records since they’re doing so well. I don’t want to believe that Americans, as a whole, have such shitty-ass taste in music. I need some answers!

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