Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Love Stinks

The countdown to Valentine's Day has begun. Less than a month to go! Do you know what you're giving your sweetheart this year? Maybe that box of artfully wrapped chocolates, or a pair of red boxers with pink hearts on them? All wonderful choices that *truly* express your feelings of love.

My problem with Valentine's day is not the intention behind it, which I find rather sweet and noble (yeah, I do have a heart...sometimes.) My problem is with the over-the-top commercialization of it. Sure, we can expect that to happen with just about everything but Valentine's Day in particular has been blown to atrocious proportions in more than one way.

First let's deal with the wonderful selection of craptastic products that you can buy. We have teddy bears, chocolate roses, boxes of chocolate, chocolate in every imaginable form, cheap lingerie, hearts everything, jewelry, cards, etc. Did you know that most lingerie during this time of year is sold to MEN? Yep. Sometimes I wonder if we're really supposed to like what they market to us. Are crotchless red lace panties *really* necessary? No. Are they sexy? Um...maybe to some men, none that I've met. And if you do wear them, what kind of message does it send? Yep, that you're a big fucking slut. I think that trashy lingerie is like the clothing equivalent of Cosmo. It doesn't really represent sexuality or kinkiness, just a packaged mainstream version of it that doesn't even scratch the surface of the human libido. It's easily accessible and digestible; it's what someone out there wants to make us believe is sexy. But there is no one sexy fits all here. But I digress. My question then is: "Does something you buy for 29.99 really represent love?" I'm not against buying gifts per se but if you are then it'd better be something thoughtful and not just something you pick up on the fly just because.

Which brings me to my next point: the pressure put on EVERYONE. It's pretty much a lose-lose situation. If you're single, you feel completely left out and inadequate because you don't have someone to take you out to dinner and give you above-mentioned crotchless panties. If you're in a relationship the pressure is even greater. So much seems to hinge on this fateful date of February 14. You do too little and you're fucked (not in the good way), you do too much and then you're fucked too! It seems that Valentine's Day is the be all or end all of relationships. And if you make it through with your heart and head still in one piece then "Congratufuckinglations."

If you were thinking that by the end of this I'll have offered some advice or solutions to this plight then I'm sorry to disappoint you. All I can hope for is that I won't lose my head least until the next big holiday!


Arria Marcella said...

What do you want for Valentine's Day? What are your ideal gifts? Crotch-ful panties?

chemskank said...

Yes. I would love some panties with an intact crotch. Can you also get me a boyfriend? That would be nice... preferably Clive Owen, but I will settle for a certain biracial hottie