Monday, February 11, 2008

Fashion Victims

Beyonce- really, really pretty girl. But sista needs to not let her mama choose her outfits. Seriously, does she OWN a mirror? The first outfit looks divine in comparison to the follow-ups. Sure, it's a little Ice Princess Barbie for my taste but she pulls it off and it shows off her itty bitty waist.

The same can't be said about the second one. Hello, Jolly Green Giant! The thought process behind this outfit goes something like this:
"Ok, what can I wear that's going to highlight my thighs and completely destroy my fab figure? I KNOW! An acid green leotard, of course. But wait, it's not enough. It needs MORE...perhaps a black lace jacket? Yes, that's perfect. Matador-cum-split pea soup is so hot right now."

Final outfit is a much needed improvement. But alas, she still doesn't understand the concept of proportion. This may look good on a malnourised 15-year old Eastern European model but not on a real woman, with real curves. Put something on that cuts you off at the widest part of your body and that's all people will see. The decoltage is lovely though. And props to her for ditching the hair extensions although I'm not loving the blond. She looks so much better with brown hair.

Oh B, we love you but we're not crazy in love with those clothes. You're a diva and your clothes just don't reflect that. They look cheap and a tad Vegas showgirl, and that's not something you want to emulate. Next time take a look around: Alicia Keys...FIERCE! Gwen Stefani...FIERCE! Rihanna... FIERCE! You can be fierce too, B. I know you can. Just put down the bedazzler and get your bootylicious self to Barneys.

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