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When my face is so shiny Paris Hilton can use it as a mirror to check herself out I run for the nearest bathroom and get one of those toilet seat covers. They work wonders at soaking up all that excess oil from your face while keeping make-up intact. It’s seriously the best thing ever. How I love multi-purpose products…not only can you protect your ass from the nasty stuff in public toilets but you can also combat over-active skin glands. But that got me thinking “What else can you do with toilet seat covers?” The answers might surprise you.
1. origami
2. instant push-up bra!
3. stuff into too big shoes
4. fashion it into an avant-garde necklace and tell everyone it’s the latest thing in Paris
5. bow ties
6. hair curlers (wrap hair around and twist up)
7. write the great American novel while on the can
Some of these suggestions are more serious than others.
Traveling sucks. What sucks even more is missing a flight for no apparent reason. I think I’ve hit a new low (or high?) of incompetence: missing my flight after I checked in and after I got to the gate. How is that possible? Well, it takes a highly skilled person to do it. And by “highly skilled” I mean “without any fucking common sense.” That would be me. This is how it all went down.
8:00ish AM arrive at airport, check-in
8:10 AM have a smoke outside the terminal, check out hot marine
8:15 AM check out hot marine in security line
8:20 AM cleared security, waiting in line for my grande iced Americano at Starbucks
8:30 AM buy trashy magazines at newsstand
8:35 AM at gate B18, waiting for flight, txting my girls
8:40ish AM boarding begins, I get uncontrollable urge to pee (probably from all the coffee I just drank)
8:56 AM got back to the gate, everyone’s gone, doors closed.
9:05AM I watch as the plane is pulling away without me on board.
FUCK THIS SHIT. The asshole at the counter would not let me in, fucking douche. Thankfully I got on the next flight and got a sweet ass exit row seat but I was thisclose to potentially missing that one too (due to a CTA malfunction, totally not my fault this time...tho going to Sweet Thang for a croissant might make me about 20% responsible)
When my face is so shiny Paris Hilton can use it as a mirror to check herself out I run for the nearest bathroom and get one of those toilet seat covers. They work wonders at soaking up all that excess oil from your face while keeping make-up intact. It’s seriously the best thing ever. How I love multi-purpose products…not only can you protect your ass from the nasty stuff in public toilets but you can also combat over-active skin glands. But that got me thinking “What else can you do with toilet seat covers?” The answers might surprise you.
