Bitch Is The New Black

"You call me a bitch as if that's a bad thing."
That's the mantra that I hope to live by. Too often, bitches get a bad rap. Yes, we're mean and condescending and sarcastic and people hate us because they secretly want to be like us. Why? "Because bitches get stuff done." That's right, Tina Fey. People generally don't like bitches because we represent everything they wish they were, but are not. Bitches are assertive and speak their mind, whether others like what they hear or not. This comes across as arrogance. A man that does all those things is considered "a go getter" and "a leader." But a woman is a bitch. But isn't arrogance the true embodiment of the American dream? I maintain that it is. And if that means being a bitch, then so be it.

For those that think being a bitch is easy, you're SO wrong. Honestly, being nice is a whole lot easier. It takes a special kind of perseverance to wake up every morning and unleash bitchiness all over the world. It is truly better to be feared than loved, to be passionately hated by some than be well, sorta liked by all. That's how you know you're doing things right. Word to the wise: bitchiness does not equal douchiness. Let's be clear on that. A bitch has substance; a douche does not.
Historically, the most memorable and powerful women were bitches.
Queen Elizabeth? Bitch.
Catherine the Great? Bitch.
The Suffragettes? Bitches, totes.
Hillary Clinton? Bitch.
Bette Davis? Mae West? Bitch and BITCH
Marie Curie? I don't know but the uranium probably made her into one.

So, let all the fierce bitches of the world unite in bitchdom. Be all you can bitch!